What went so terribly wrong?
As captain of the United States Olympic Rationalization Team I decided that it must have been the clubs and bag. The clubs were outdated anyway, and the bag? It just didn't look cool.
So it came to pass that last Sunday at 8:30 I went to get fitted for a set
of new clubs. They're graphite which makes them much lighter than the others. They're also about an inch longer than standard and slightly thicker handled, too. Little wonder I was playing so poorly! Instead of 3 and 4 irons, I'm getting one of those new-fangled hybrid clubs. Also, I'm getting 2 wedges, one for chipping and one for sand.
Whose idea was it to have sand on golf courses anyway? What a bad idea THAT was! They don't let you build sand castles or do anything else constructive. They make the course harder to play, take longer to play, and just add to the frustration of an already frustrating sport. If they're going to have sand traps they should have something to even things out, like maybe ramps! If you hit your ball onto a ramp, it rolls the ball onto the green and into the hole.
Or how about an out of bounds trampoline? If you hit the ball with a serious hook or slice (or just have real bad aim) and it's headed out of bounds, have trampolines that are on their sides so the ball can hit one and bounce back onto the fairway?
My favorite would be the 18th cement funnel hole. Since everyone's way too tired by the 18th hole anyway, you make the hole about 427 yards, but angled downward at about 10 degrees and dropping into the hole, just like a huge funnel. It wouldn't matter what club you used or how you hit it, it's going in! And Jack Nicklaus thinks he knows how to design golf courses.
But I digress. That bag you see in the picture is much nicer than the old one. I thought I'd be smart and ask for a price reduction since the Callaway company would be getting free advertising what with their name being seen on my bag. The salesman called them up to ask about such a discount. When they found out it was me, they added 25% because they didn't want THAT kind of publicity. Oh well.
As for my old clubs, I may give them to some charity, or I might keep them. I'll cart 2 or 3 of them around with my new set and use them for stunt clubs. Then when I feel like breaking one across my knee or throwing one into the lake my last ball went into, they'll be there.
I'll keep you posted.
It is to laugh.
That was well over 20 years ago. The best I ever shot was 113. So it came to pass that I recently embarked upon yet another set of golf lessons, this time at Tilden Park. 4 2-hour group lessons in as many weeks and numerous trips to the driving range. Retirement is good for that.
Then out to the course. By the 9th hole, I was looking like I would seriously challenge the Tilden course record for most lost golf balls. I decided to give up scoring at that point and just revel in my
