Shinn the Writer

Cruel Indeed

 

On my main page, I have a “quote of the month”. Short snippets of wisdom that I found relevant for one reason or another. One of the earliest ones was from an old bandmate of mine, John Richardson, who wisely said “Music is a cruel mistress”. This piece of wisdom has never seemed truer than recently.

 

I suppose it really come to a head with my performance at this year’s Neighborhood Night Out in early August. I mentioned a couple of months ago that it was less than satisfying, but it was just one musical thing of many lately that’s been disturbing. Another is that I quit the band I was in. There just wasn’t the spark I was looking for when I joined. We’d been finding it harder and harder to find rehearsal times and more often than not we would go more than a month without getting together.

 

I’m in a couple of other collaborations, but neither is such that I see us performing anywhere except my living room. I’ll likely try to make us a trio, but I don’t think that will help much. I sense no real spark, and that may be my own doing. After the neighborhood night out, I’m sensing more and more that I just don’t seem to want to be in a band or group anymore. The thought of schlepping gear all over town just isn’t appealing, but more important, I’d just as soon do things my own way.

 

I recently was asked to play McCartney’s “Mother Nature’s Son” in church. It might have been fun to work up some harmonies, but I wasn’t in an adventurous mood and asked to do the song solo. It came off reasonably well, but it was a definite change in what I prefer doing.

 

The biggest surprise, though, has been recording my songs. A few months back I tried my hand using Apple’s “Garage Band”, software designed to allow one to record as if in a music studio. Totally amazing for a free package. I cranked out a couple of songs I’d written in short order. Perhaps a bit too short. One was okay, but the other, Center of Town, was recorded at way too slow a tempo. I’d already decided that I’d likely redo the first two simply because they were my first two attempts and they’d likely be flawed. I decided to re-do Center of Town before anything else.

 

I programmed bass and drums in short order. The bass was an experiment since I could have actually played the part on a real bass, but I wanted hear the alternative. All I needed to add was guitar and vocal. But for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to finish the song. I would continually find other things to do. I didn’t think too much of it at first, but when a week of procrastination turned into a month, I began to wonder. I put it on my “to do” list, but it somehow never got done. I couldn’t figure out why.

 

I’d get my equipment ready, microphone, audio interface, needed cables, very little really. But then, before I’d start actually recording, I’d feel the need to take a walk. Or make dinner. Or clean the garage. All worthy projects. I had plenty of time to do any or all of these things. Or maybe just one more mahjong puzzle?​